Will I Ever Have a Baby? by Ms. Ayanna Gallow
Do you have the desire to have children, but you’re scared it won’t happen?
Are you tired of being asked the questions “How many kids do you want?” or “When do you think you’ll have a baby?”
One of the hardest aspects of submitting your life to the will of God is not knowing exactly what His plan is for you. Wondering whether or not He’s planned for you to be married is hard enough, but when you throw the question of children into the mix, it can be easy for anxiety and fear to take over your heart and mind. Although it’s true that not everyone will get married or have children, we all need something to hold onto as we wait and believe. There is no better place to turn to than God’s Word.
The Promises of God
“Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”
LORD, you have examined me and know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know where I go and where I lie down. You know everything I do. LORD, even before I say a word, you already know it. You are all around me—in front and in back—and you have put your hand on me. Your knowledge is amazing to me; it is more that I can understand.
Not only did God create us, but He is also actively engaged in our lives. He knows every thought, every emotion, and every desire we have ever had, and He can do more in our lives than we can ever ask or think, because He is the one who put those desires in our heart. If you think your dreams are too big, remember that the One who created the heavens and the earth, and everything that dwells in them, has even bigger dreams for you. Therefore, if you have the yearning to be a mom, bring that yearning to God in prayer. He hears you.
Trusting God
Even the most content single women struggle with handling the opinions of people on the outside looking in. It seems that the longer you remain single, the more worried people become about the status of your biological clock. If you listen to the influence of others, then it won’t be long before you find yourself doubting God, and doubt leads to fear-based decisions. For instance, if you don’t believe you will have a child before you reach a certain age, you might settle for a relationship that is less than God’s best for you. Don’t allow fear to control the decisions you make for your life! No matter how many times people tell you that you’re running out of time, stand on the belief that the God who exists outside of time and knows the beginning and the end of all things will do what is best for you… in His perfect time.
And I want to be clear here that when I’m talking about trusting God, I don’t mean trusting God for what you want. I mean trusting God, period. That includes trusting Him even if His answer is “not yet”, “no”, or even “yes, but it’s not going to happen the way you think”. And I can say this from personal experience. One night, as I was driving home tired from work, I was pulled over by a police officer. One year later, that police officer became my husband. We got married the day after my 29th birthday, and before I turned 30, I welcomed my first baby. When I found out I was having a baby, I almost fainted. I was so happy. God’s timing may have been different than my own, but I was so glad that I hadn’t moved ahead of Him. In the end, He worked everything together in His perfect timing.
Waiting on God
Patience is a virtue that must be developed. Every time we have to wait on something, we’re working towards becoming virtuous women—whether you’re waiting in line to order a cup of coffee or you’re waiting for the right guy to come along so you can start the family you’ve been praying for. The temptation here, as we encounter such tests, is to take matters into our own hands and figure out a solution for ourselves. One day we may say that we trust God with a particular situation, but the next day we’re strategizing ideas of how we can make it work the way we want it to work. And all we end up doing is running ourselves ragged and possibly setting ourselves back a bit.
“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and faint not.
Instead of exhausting yourself with trying to figure out all the answers for yourself, wait and see what God has in store for you. I promise that whatever He has is so much better.
Pray, Trust, and Wait
When I was single, there was a time that I dealt with depression because of the way people made me feel. I felt like something was wrong with me because I didn’t have children. The expectations of those around you combined with your own desires—desires which can be pretty intense at times—can undoubtedly create an overwhelming sense of confusion. God is well aware of the flood of thoughts and emotions you may be facing on this journey, but as much as He cares about what you feel, He knows what is to come. He knows that if you stay the course, you will reach the fulfillment of what He’s designed specifically for your life. Pray that God will help you to trust Him as you wait, and believe. Believe that He’s working it all out for you, even now, because He is.
Blessings,
-Ayanna
About the Author
Ayanna Gallow is from New York, but she currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia with her two amazing sons.
Ayanna enjoys her career in insurance, and in 2019 she became the #1 Best Selling Author of “God & Hip Hop: a 21-day Biblical Devotional Inspired by Hip Hop Music.